Dole-a-mite!

When Bob Dole ran for president in 1996, he famously referred to himself in third person all the time, apparently so you wouldn't forget the name of the guy standing up there on the podium, running for president. Bob Dole cares about working Americans. Bob Dole will stand up for your interests. Bob Dole's not the kind of guy who quits when the chips are down.

So what happens when all public figures and song writers talk that way? Here are some well known first person sayings and song lyrics that have been Dole-a-mited.

  • Julius Caesar came. Julius Caesar saw. Julius Caesar conquered.
  • Chaka Khan is every woman.
  • Helen Reddy is woman. Hear Helen Reddy roar.
  • Ulysses S. Grant proposes to fight it out on this line if it takes all summer.
  • Yes, Winston Churchill is drunk. Lady Astor is ugly. In the morning, Winston Churchill will be sober.
  • René Descartes thinks, therefore René Descartes is.
  • Well, Three Dog Night has never been to Spain.
  • Socrates knows that Socrates is intelligent, because Socrates knows that Socrates knows nothing.
  • Then Neil Diamond saw her face. Now Neil Diamond is a believer.
  • Stevie Wonder just called to say how much Stevie Wonder loves you.
  • Peter Cetera just wants to be free.
  • Jennifer Warnes had the time of Jennifer Warnes's life.
  • Martin Luther King has a dream.
  • Right Said Fred is too sexy for Right Said Fred's love.
  • Beyoncé was here.
  • Don't stand so close to the Police.
  • That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, KC likes it.
  • U2 still hasn't found what U2 was looking for.
  • Will you still need Paul McCartney, will you still feed Paul McCartney, when Paul McCartney is 64?
  • Meat Loaf would do anything for love. But Meat Loaf wouldn't do that.
  • Whitney Houston will always love you.
  • She's always a woman to Billy Joel.
  • Tell Chaka Khan something good.
  • The first time Roberta Flack ever saw your face ...
  • Madame, if Winston Churchill were you husband, Winston Churchill would drink it!
  • When Bruno Mars was your man.
  • If Teyve were a rich man.
  • Andy Gibb just wants to be your everything.
  • Ellie Goulding featuring Calvin Harris needs your love.
  • Teena Marie needs your lovin'.
  • Where Building 429 belongs.
  • The Pointer Sisters are so excited. The Pointer Sisters just can't hide it.
  • Carlotta Campion's still here.
  • If Bobby Darin was a carpenter.
  • When Miley Cyrus looks at you.
  • When Céline Dion falls in love.
  • April Lavigne's with you.
  • Where does Olivia go from here?

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